Things people do or think but never talk about.

8:14 PM Daniela Skeyki 1 Comments


In a world where everyone is trying so hard to be cool and classy I find it necessary to remind everyone that at the end of the day we all secretly do things that are far from cool, not considered normal by society and usually cause judgement.

 “Not you again” or “UKH”
A phrase you’d usually think or say before picking up your phone when it rings. Or after a phone call. Or when someone texts you on Whatsapp. Or when someone comes to your house.
I do this even if its my friends, especially when its my family. Its a reflex and I cannot stop it.


“I’m a Barbie girl in a Barbie world…”
Perfectly know lyrics to a gayest song on the planet. Or any other song which has stupid lyrics and embarrassing to sing along to. But it becomes aaaaaabsolutely aaaalright if you are drunk. It's definitely not alright for people around you, especially if your voice is very, very, VERY far from being even slightly tolerable. Or if you are a group of few people, yelling "OH MY GOD ITS OUR SONG!!!" and squealing lyrics. 



Porn? What is that?
I don’t really have to write anything about this one, but almost everyone watches it and I’m sure even have a favorite genre. Don't forget that we all know where you've been and what (who?) you've done during your teenage years.

But if you are ballsy enough to admit that you watch porn, you will see a bunch of shocked faces and receive “Oh my… EW” kind of reactions.


There is something itching in my nose.
People do it in private. Stop being a diva, get over it and admit that your nose gets annoyingly dirty sometimes. When stuck in traffic, my favorite activity is to watch people on the parallel lane engaging themselves in this shameless activity, while truly believing that people stop seeing through glass windows. Seriously, if you take a shot every time you see someone picking their nose while driving, you might never reach your final destination.

I do this. I just use Kleenex instead of my finger.


Baby talk.
Baby-talk with your other half. Technically it’s very embarrassing, not even what you say but HOW you say it. In a very cheesy, sweet voice that makes even sugar junkies cringe. Have you noticed how majority of words we use when baby-talking usually start with a letter “B”? Boo, beeeeb, babooo, babes & etc. Don't you just hate these annoying, cheesy couples who are glued to each other and make some weird noises? Yeah, I hate myself too.



Aaaah yes, I totally remember that scene!
Pretending that we watched a specific movie or read a specific book, because we are too afraid to be judged or called loser for not doing so. Admit it. You did it at least once. At least when you were a teenager.
Well, I know some people who confess that they never watched “Harry Potter” and actually find these movies lame. Somehow, we are still friends.

Evil life hack: Once you feel that your friend "totally remembers that scene", just ask them what's this book or movie are about and enjoy it, while they are trying to get out of this awkward situation.


Stalking
This one person you secretly don’t like but you actually know what is their favorite color, where do they hang out and what is the name of their cat. Technically we enjoy feeding on negative emotions when it comes to Social Media. The more feelings specific person triggers in us, the more we get addicted to checking their pages. Some sort of unhealthy hate therapy.

Don't you just love it when your stalkers accidentally like your tagged picture from 2013, posted on a page of you mother's best friend?


Blame it on my vision.

Not coming up to someone to say hi because you don’t feel like small-talk today. Timeless legit excuse: "My vision is bad, I am sorry I didn’t see you."
Usually after this you go back home and have -1 follower on Instagram. OH WHAT A LOSS.

Apparently "unfollow" is the new "we are not friends anymore".


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